


It's Fine

by Anxiety_Muffin



Category: None - Fandom, Original Creation, Teen Fiction - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Asexual Character, Bullying, Genderflux Character, High School, OCs - Freeform, Orginal - Freeform, Other, Physical Abuse, Verbal Abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-22
Updated: 2018-02-22
Packaged: 2019-03-22 11:17:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13762992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anxiety_Muffin/pseuds/Anxiety_Muffin
Summary: (I know no one is going to read this just because I put it here but oh well)Faye's moving to a different state due to complications at their old school, their mom says it'll be better there but they just can't believe her. Faye's scared, all they can think about is everything that could ever go wrong at the new place, which is a lot, but maybe things won't be as bad as Faye's thinking.Trigger Warnings (May add more as the story continues)- Verbal Abuse- Physical Abuse- Bullying- Minor Anxiety Attack





	1. Chapter 1

Faye couldn’t fall asleep, there were too many thoughts, too many things to worry about, too many things that could go wrong and mess everything up to even think about resting. That’s how they found themselves sitting on the floor in the bathroom at 3:42 in the morning silently crying. Their mom was asleep, as well as their sister who thankfully had her own room finally after the move. Faye could hear their cat meowing outside the bathroom door, probably knowing that they were the only one awake at the moment and wanted attention from somebody. Faye didn’t get up to open the door, they want to let their cat it, give them the care they want and deserve but they just can’t stand up, not enough energy to even open their eyes.

You know that moment when you meet somebody and somehow you get it into your head that you’ll be friends forever? Somehow, you let yourself believe you can trust somebody? Faye thought they were okay, thought they were getting by in the world, but everything started to come crashing down and they have absolutely no idea why. Things just went from sunshines and rainbows to shit for some unknown reason, just growing up and living as a human being seemed to trigger the demons in people, yelling, name calling, abuse. 

It all started with Faye’s sister, she’s about 5 years younger than them. Growing up Faye absolutely adored her, and because her dad just up and left Faye had to help their mom with taking care of her, they didn’t mind at all, glad to be of help and spend time with somebody. As they got older, Faye became more quiet and their sister became more cruel. Faye wish they knew where it came from, where the dark creature was lurking so they’d have the chance to keep them away from her before it had a chance to infect her with such cruel things. It was always verbal, never physical, always saying just the right things to make it all hurt and Faye couldn’t do a single thing to stop it. Not only was her sister cruel but smart, she never did it in front of their mom, and Faye has always been too scared to say anything.

Next it became Faye’s peers, they’d would call them names like stupid or worthless, and whenever a teacher wasn’t looking they’d push them into stuff. Making sure it was something that would make it really hurt. The physical abuse would always leave marks, and Faye would always have to do their best to cover it all up so their mom wouldn’t see it, wouldn’t find out about it, wouldn’t have to deal with her weak ass “daughter” getting beat up by everyone around them. Even with all the pain, Faye could take it, Faye could deal with it, it wasn’t too bad, none of them really mattered.

Finally, the breaking point that made Faye realize just how cruel the world they lived in was. Their friends, the people they trusted, the people they cared about with their everything and thought would care for them no matter what. It was after they came out for the first time. It wasn’t till recently that Faye knew anything about gender and sexuality, growing up they never heard anybody mention anything about being gay, straight, bi, transgender, agender or anything till recently when they just so happened to stumble upon something about it on youtube. It took a while to get through everything and even longer to realize some of it made sense to themself. After a bit Faye found something called pansexual, it made sense, in some ways it was saying that you liked someone and their sex or gender didn’t really matter, though it still fent a bit off since Faye did feel that way they’ve never felt anything “sexual” towards anybody ever. Later, they found out about being asexuael and the entire spectrum of that, it was fascinating how so many people felt the same but still so different, and at the end of that day Faye felt comfortable with calling themselves panromantic asexual.

Now when it comes to gender, that was a whole ‘nother thing, it was confusing, Faye usually never felt like she/her was a bad thing being used but at the same time finding out that people used they/them as a way of referring to a single person was nice, it was a general thing and made more space. It took a lot of looking around for this, found things that seemed fine but still off, that’s when Faye found greygender, it pretty much meant I felt my gender was there but at the same time didn’t. After thinking about it, Faye felt like it would fit nicely, they’d decided though that even if they liked they/them more they wouldn’t tell their mom, because they weren’t sure how she’d feel about it.

Faye thought it was a good idea to tell this to their friends, Faye trusts them enough with this information and didn't think anything could go wrong with this. At first nothing seemed wrong, when Faye told them they didn’t give that much of a reaction, seemed a little surprised but it didn’t seem like they cared much, until Faye realized that they slowey were starting to distance themselves from them. It took a while to notice, no more coming over to their houses, no more hanging out after school, no more hanging out in class or sitting together at lunch. The moment Faye realized they fucked up was the moment they found out that everybody knew about what they told their friends, somehow they knew about everything they never wanted anyone to find out ever in fear of exactly what was happening now. The words were harsher, the pushing and punches were more aggressive, throughout the day it started to get harder to hide everything they were doing, the teachers saw but they didn’t do a damn thing. Faye tried to find one of their “friends” to ask what was going on. The confrontation didn’t go well, they admitted to telling the entire school about what they said and then they did the exact thing they’ve been dealing with from everyone else. It was the friend Faye felt the closest to, the one they felt the most trusting towards, the one they thought would be there for them till the bitter end was kicking them over and over curled up in a ball on the ground outside in the back of the school.

Faye didn’t want to let their mom know of what happened, but even if they were able to get home it would be extremely hard to hide everything. They never got up, after their “friends” left they just layed there for the rest of the day and no one went to look for them. It wasn’t till way later in the day that someone found Faye, it was their mom, because Faye didn’t come home at all and wasn’t picking up any of her calls she got worried and called the school, they said they weren't there so their mom went to the school to personally look herself to see if Faye was there, which is how she found them almost dead in the back of the school alone.

That was a couple months ago, since then Faye has been in the hospital for a while because of all the beating they took. They weren’t in the hospital for long, and after they left, Faye moved to a different state, their mom thought if they had a new start things would be better and the new kids wouldn’t be so mean. Faye doesn’t want to go to school, they don’t want to go to somewhere they’ve never been before and be judged be a whole bunch of people they’ve never met before. School starts in a few hours and Faye doesn’t know what to do, all they can do for now is cry on the bathroom floor until they pass out from exhaustion while their cat is still outside the bathroom door meowing for Faye’s attention.


	2. Chapter 2

Faye was woken up by their alarm clock that was currently next to their ear. It took a bit but eventually Faye got themselves to sit up, turn off the alarm and rub the sleep out of their eyes in hope they won’t just lay back down and fall asleep again. It took Faye a few moments to realize how strange it is to be waking up in their room considering they remember very clearly falling asleep on the bathroom floor. Brushing it off because it didn’t seem all that important Faye got up and went into the bathroom. Usually Faye doesn’t have much to do in the morning, just going to the bathroom and playing with their cat. Faye rarely changes their clothes, doesn’t matter because they don’t care and no one ever says anything about it. Faye never brushes their teeth because as important as it is they don’t really see it as something that significant which makes them always forget their toothbrush even exists. Breakfast is always out of the question, sometimes they’ll have some toast in the morning but most of the time Faye just doesn't have the energy to make themselves something to eat.

After Faye says goodbye to their cat, Muffin, they head outside and to school. Faye’s nervous. No... Anxious? No, that’s not it… Petrified! Faye is absolutely petrified and doesn’t want to get anywhere near the school but physically has no choice in the matter, no matter how they feel or how much they want to run away and hide from everything forever they have to go through with this hell. No matter how much Faye tells themself to calm down and everything is going to be okay their lungs continue to get tighter and tighter the closer they get to the building. There's people outside, probably hanging out waiting for school to start, Faye doesn’t know anybody there so tries to as quickly as possible walk past everybody and into the building. It isn’t any better there, more people and less space and Faye doesn’t even remember where the office is and too anxious to ask anybody. Faye finds the bathrooms before the office and zooms straight there and into a stall locking it. This is probably the last thing Faye should be doing, they’re just going to end up late but hopefully there will be less people in the halls.

The bell finally rang signaling kids to start heading to class, Faye waited for the second bell, the one that means you should be in class by now before even leaving the stall. The office wasn’t hard to find, probably because with less people around Faye can think more clearly. Walking in they go up to the desk quietly, and the lady who was sitting there looking over some papers notices them and looks up.

“Oh! you, must be the new student, Faye correct?” Faye just nods “Great! though I’d like to point out that you seem to be late.”

“S-Sorry about that..” Faye replied quietly “Oh, don’t stress over it, it’s your first day after all, just make sure to come on time next time.” The lady grabs some things and hands Faye a paper with their classes and their locker number and code. “My name is Mrs. Templet by the way, and if you ever need me I’ll most likely be here!”

Faye nods their head and steps back a bit, looking down at their classes they realises now they’re going to have to look for everything is, but what if someone is in the hallway and sees them and think they look stupid walking around lost, or a teacher gets mad at her for not being in class. while Faye is having a panic in her head, Mrs. Templet seems to notice.

“Oh, since you’re new here you probably have no idea where everything is. Hang on a sec while I call up someone so they can help you around.”

“You don’t have to, I-” Before Faye can actually get most of what they were saying out she already has the phone to her ear and calling somebody up. It takes a few minutes, during the short waiting period Faye just feels bad because they’re causing someone to have to leave class just because they don’t know their way around. Finally the person comes in and when they spot Faye a smile comes onto their face.

“Hello, I’m Poppy, it’s nice to meet you!” She stretches out her hand but Faye doesn’t take it, instead looking over the person in front of them. Poppy has long purple dyed hair, but from the looks of her roots her natural hair color is blonde, she has dark blue eyes and seems to be much taller than Faye, but not too tall to where they have to look up to meet her eyes and have it seem awkward. Faye realizes they’re probably making the situation by not doing anything and slowly reaches out their hand to take in Poppy for a somewhat gentle handshake. “Faye..” They respond softly, feeling very timid in the current situation.

“Nice name, I was told you were new here and needed someone to show you around, lucky for you I’m one hundred percent willing to help you with anything you want to ask.” Faye just nods, not really sure if they know how to say something without it sounding pathetic. “If you don’t mind, could I see your schedule?” Faye hands it over and Poppy looks it over for a few seconds before smiling widely. “Wow, you’re just got even luckier!” Faye tilts her head in confusion, waiting for an explanation as to why Poppy thinks that, instead of answering, she hands over both of their schedule to look over. Doing so, Faye realizes what Poppy might have meant, they both have the exact same schedule.

“Interesting” Faye mumbles to herself before handing Poppy back her schedule. “Ready to go to your first class?” Before Faye can really give out a reply Poppy has already taken ahold of their hand and has started walking them out the door. Faye just lets her drag them out, not really sure what’s going on as well as just simply not having enough arm strength to stop her. “Y-You know you don’t have to d-do this if you don’t want to..” Faye tries to say while they’re walking down the hallway towards what Faye assumes their first class. Poppy doesn’t answer, though when they get to their class she stops them in front of the door instead of going inside.

“Since this is your first day and you don’t know anybody you’re probably really nervous about everything, I’m here because I want to make sure you feel comfortable on your first day and don’t get lost too much. Everything might be weird for a while but I promise the longer you’re here the more you’ll get used to it. Also-” She pauses for a moment, before turning to Faye “I know you just met me but it’d be nice if we could become friends, you’re very quiet and people might not know how to approach you because of that.” She thinks for a moment before stuttering out “N-Not saying being quiet is a bad thing though, not at all, that’s just you being you. I’m just saying people probably wouldn’t know how to talk to you so they’d just end up leaving you alone and I don’t want you to have to spend your time here, especially your first day all by yourself.”

Faye smiles faintly to themself, someone actually wants to be their friend, maybe they’re just trying to be nice or they were asked to do this by a teacher but for now Faye just wants someone to be their so they don’t have to worry too much about getting lost or making someone mad. Faye finally nods “I’d like to be friends” Poppy smiles for what seems like the 50th time that day, before turning back to the door. “Glad to hear that, though right now we should probably head inside, we’re already late as is but I’ll make sure to explain to the teacher what happened so you won’t get in trouble.”

Poppy uses her free hand to open the door and goes inside, bringing Faye in with her. Faye’s still really anxious about today, anything at any moment could go wrong, but for now they’re going to try not to dwell on that, instead trying to think of the good things that could happen today day as well as Poppy’s hand that’s still intertwined with theirs.


	3. Chapter 3

The day was actually going by quite well, much to Faye's surprise. The first class was Global Studies, because Faye came in during the middle of whatever everyone was learning, they didn't know anything about anything on what was going on. Thankfully though, Poppy had a free spot next to her and helped Faye get through the more important parts needed for the class, still confusing but at least it's better than not knowing anything. Dismissing when Faye first went into the room and all the anxiety started bundling up again from everyone looking at them, by the end of the class they completely forgot others were in the room. Faye did however, remember there were other people in the room when the bell rang and everyone got up. Faye didn't want to go into the sea of people again just to go to the next class and Poppy must have noticed their hesitance to leave the room and actually stayed back with them to let the mob of people calm down. After a moment she grabbed thier hand again and lead them through the decently empty hallway to their next class, which happened to be Science Research.

Just like the last class, Faye came into the class during the middle of whatever they were learning and didn't know what was even going on, except this time the class ended up being twice as confusing. Thankfully that class went by quicker than the last, but that's probably because Faye fell asleep at some point during it, though they're not sure why Poppy let them do that.

Third class was actually fun, 2D art. Because Faye didn't start whatever art project everyone else was doing they just had to draw, though while drawing Faye had fun watching Poppy work on her art project next to them, unlike the other classes where she was there because she had to be Poppy looked like she really cared about what she was doing. Faye wouldn't admit it, but they did more watching Poppy work than actually drawing themself.

Finally lunch rolled around, Faye has never really liked the lunch room, too many people, too many judging stares. Even with stalling behind everyone else, there was no hiding from everyone who stayed in the cafeteria, so it was either go in and face it or skip lunch. Faye wanted to skip and run to the bathroom, but kept behind Poppy as they walking into the room, and to Faye's relief nobody turned to look at them. Though in the line the lunch lady eyed them when they were still holding hand before having to part while grabbing a tray (When Faye tries to think about why she even does that, they can't come up with an answer. Is she doing it to make them feel comfortable? Just to make herself look like a nice person???). Poppy took them to her table group of friends, and even if there weren't many people there, they could already tell some of them really didn't like Faye already for some reason.

Faye feels bad that they didn't say much during lunch, Poppy tried to start conversation with them a few times but nothing really lasted, she made conversation with everyone else so easily though. Maybe it was just paranoia, but Faye swears one of Poppy's friends- Jeannette?- was glaring at them whenever she thought they weren't looking. Finally, after what felt like forever, the bell rang telling everyone lunch was over. Faye didn't eat much of her food, so they just threw away all the food that was still on their tray. Now they were headed off to Algebra. Ew. Though hopefully it won't be too bad, Faye isn't the best at math but they don't think they're the worst either.

Apparently today was a pretty shit day to start school, there was a math test that day and the teacher forced Faye to take it even if they weren't there for any of what there were leaning. Faye didn't even try to finish it. At this point Faye feels extremely emotionally drained and just wants to curl up in bed and sleep the rest of the day, sadly there's still more classes, only one but that's still too long. English wasn't that bad to Faye's surprise. They weren't really in the middle of something, the sections aren't that long and at the moment the class was starting a poem thing, Kay guesses they look over a given one and analyse the hell out of it. At some point the class was grouped into 2's to do it and Poppy wanted to be their partner, probably only because no one else would want to but they didn't really complain.

Before Faye knew it, class was over. They stayed back, at this time everyone would be in be hallways and would stay longer, people are going home and and there's a good chance a lot of people would stay behind instead of immediately leaving for home. Surprisingly Poppy stayed behind as well, which they didn't understand because school's over which means she doesn't have to stay with them anymore, she can go on her way and pretend the day never happened, but it seems Poppy had different plans.

Faye watched as Poppy finally got up and held out her hand to Faye. Confused, they took the hand and was gently pulled up. "Aren't you going home now? Why're you still here?" Faye asked, it kind of sounded like something just a tad louder than a whisper but Faye just genuinely doesn't know how to raise their voice.

"To make sure you got home safe. You don't ride the bus, or at least I hope not because it's already gone now. Do you get picked up or walk?"

"I walk"

"Okay then, I'll walk you home!"

"You really don't have to, schools over and you don't have to be around me anymor-"

"Hey, it's alright. You're a really quiet person, not sure if it's because you're shy or something else but you just looked like someone who could really use a friend, so I want to make sure you have one. Heh, sorry if that sounds weird."

“No, it… It’s okay..” Poppy smiles at that before walking towards the door with them, “Just tell me where we need to go and I’ll make sure you get there safe.”

The walk to Faye’s place was actually pretty nice, they didn’t really talk but that was okay, they were in one of those silent bubbles where all they need is to know the other person is there. It wasn’t a long walk, but it also wasn’t exactly a short walk either. So about 20 minutes later they finally arrive to Faye’s house.

“And here we are, glad I could get you here safely!”

“Thank you, it wasn’t necessary but it was nice you cared enough to” Faye can see something in Poppy’s eyes, an emotion they haven’t seen from her yet, it kind of looks like she’s contemplating doing something and not sure if it’s a good idea or not.

“Well, I should probably be heading inside, want to make sure my mom knows I’m home.”

Faye turns to walk up to her door but is suddenly stopped, seeming that whatever Poppy was contemplating in her head is coming out. “Hey, before you go in, I was wondering.. You think we could maybe exchange numbers? You know, if you’re cool with that, I just thought it’d be nice if we could have the ability to communicate easily outside of school is all.” Faye isn’t sure why she sounds so nervous, does she think they won’t want to?

“Sure, I wouldn’t mind that.” Faye gets out their phone and goes into their contacts, they don’t actually have their own number memorized so they always have to find it. Poppy gets out her phone as well and takes Faye’s phone once she gets to her contacts, adding them into their phone. As she has both phones, she decides to just put her phone number into Faye’s phone then instead of having Faye deal with all that later when she texts.

Returning Faye their phone, Poppy smiles warmly. “I hope we can become good friends” With that Poppy walks off without waiting for a reply. Faye sort of just stands there for a while, watching Poppy walking off and not really sure what to do, they finally realize they were standing there for too long when the front door opens and they turn to see their mom standing there.

“Oh, there you are, I was wondering when you were getting hope.”

“Yeah, sorry, got distracted.”

“That’s fine, come in, I made snacks for you getting through your first day.”

“Oh, thanks, but you didn’t have to it’s no big deal.”

“I think it is, a new place with new people, I’m proud you made it, how was it?”

“It was okay, I made one friend, at least I think we’re friends.”

“That’s nice to hear, what’s their name?”

“Her name’s Poppy.”


	4. Chapter 4

School sort of went on exactly like that, minus the panic attack in the morning thankfully. Faye would get to school, Poppy would go with them to every class and they’d hang out at lunch, and then Poppy would walk Faye home and they’d go their separate ways. Even if they have each other’s number, they don’t text all that often and haven't actually met up out of school before, Faye’s a little too nervous for that, in case the whole ‘being nice’ thing is just for school and I’d be completely different outside of it. Faye wasn’t sure when or if they’d ever meet up outside school, and lowkey hoping they never would just to keep it safe, but life seemed to have other plans.

It was a Saturday, Faye was in the back of the house doing her laundry, it had been a while and even if they don’t change clothes often it still packs up and things need to be cleaned eventually. Their mom is currently out of town for the weekend for some work related business so she’d normally be the one doing this but Faye wanted to show that they can actually be useful for once and thought doing their laundry themselves would be a good idea. Faye only had to take care of Muffin while their mom is gone. Ava, their sister, is sleeping over at her best friend’s house for the entire weekend, their mom trusts them but not enough to let them take care of their sibling.

While in the middle of moving the clothes in the washing machine to the dryer, Faye hears a chime come from another room and realizes it’s probably their phone. After putting the rest of the clothes in the dryer and turning it on, which only takes a couple of minutes, Faye rushes to their room to see who texted them. Expecting it to be their mom asking how they’re doing, Faye is pleasantly surprised to see it’s actually Poppy.

**Poppy:** Hey, wanna go out today? I got all my hw done and my mom said it’s okay for me to go out and hang with some friends if I wanted to and I’ve never hung out with you before and thought it would be a fun thing to do.

Oh shoot, the question Faye has avoiding for the longest time has finally come up. Would it be a good idea? What if we meet up and Poppy starts to realize how much of a boring person I am? What if she thinks I’m too clingy or too quiet? Or what if she thinks I’m too loud? What if she thinks I’m too depressing? What if I have a panic attack and she calls me a f-

A chime from Faye’s phone cuts off her downhill spirling train of thought.

**Poppy:** I don’t want to make you feel like you’re being pressured into hanging out with me, if you have other plans or just don’t want to that’s absolutely fine.

Faye just sits on her bed, reading Poppy’s two texts to them over and over again. The more they read the more they really want to say yes. There’s still the endless amounts of really depressing “what if”s floating around, but one of them that’s a little different from the others sticks to the front of their mind.

What if I go and everything turns out perfectly okay?

If things go well, that would mean that not only would their friendship be okay but it could also get better, maybe they could hang out more outside of school and talk more and be more open and be more okay. No matter what happens with anything, there’s always a chance of something going wrong, but if you’re avoiding it just for those recurring feelings you’ll never get anywhere, so sometimes it’s okay to say fuck it and take a risk. Faye decides to finally throw all caution to the wind and replies to Poppy.

**Faye:** I’d love to hang out! I’m free all weekend, where do you wanna go?


End file.
